Well, That Didn't Take Long...

Conservative propaganda handlers are already telling their sheeple what to think about Tuesday's elections. Here's an overview for your reading... uh, well I'm not sure I'd call it "pleasure"... but if you're like me, you might get a laugh out of it. LOL.

* Rev. Lou Sheldon over at the Traditional Values Coalition is happy that no one's gotten killed over the election results [yet]: "Tuesday our Congressional leadership changed, but our lives and our government are still intact."

Well, you know what they say about cockroaches--if you see one, that means there's 200 more hiding in the walls. I live in an old, unrestored Craftsman home, so I get that, totally. I have the bills from the Orkin man to prove it. Remember, for every Eric Rudolph, there are a bunch of wannabes looking to earn their way into heaven with a "righteous kill."

Alain's Newsletter informs us that "Somewhere in a Cave, Osama Bin Laden is Celebrating." Article author John W. Lillpop (sounds kind of like "Lollipop", but who would take John Lollipop seriously)? Anyway, Lillpop informs us that Osama is a devotee of CNN, and that with the exception of Wolf Blitzer, CNN is "unfair and unbalanced." Lillpop also claims that "John Zogby [of Zogby poll fame] reportedly sent text messages to Osama every time a race was decided, and gave OBL a personal live call once the Democrats achieved majority status in the U.S. House." He also says that Osama BL sent a congratulatory letter to Nancy Pelosi.

I'm not making this up, I swear!

OK, I realized by the end of the article that this is probably an attempt at satire... but sorry, even in satire mode, this Lollipop guy is still, apparently, crazy as a bedbug. Other bizarre or downright wingnutty items provided courtesy of Alain include A Divided Nation Without God (couldn't happen too soon for me) and Did Liberals Lie About Weapons of Mass Destruction? ROTFLMAO!! *Liberals* lied about WMD??? That's rich. Yeah, maybe that happened while Republicans were busy shutting liberals out of Congressional affairs. How about instead, we ask Colin Powell.

Under Alain's aegis, writer David B. Thompson says that politicians are "too nice"-- and the fact that they're "too nice" means they're unsuitable for office. He goes on to talk about how Americans are just stupid and how we need the Bible to tell us how to run our government.

Shoot, if Tom DeLay is "nice," I hate to see what conservative Republicans have in store for us next! I'm guessing that up next are The Antichrist and The False Prophet.

(Is Dick Cheney the Antichrist?? Nobody, unless you've made a deal with the devil, has four heart attacks and lives to tell about it.)

Jerk.

Now that some of the worst conservative crackpots lost their seats in Congress yesterday, RightMarch.com is worried about the remaining RINO's in Congress. Having finally grokked their actual irrelevance, these Christian conservatives have decided to stubbornly proceed as if nothing has changed. They are asking their supporters to "FLOOD all of these legislators with faxes RIGHT AWAY. They MUST KNOW that you want CHANGE in the GOP, and not the same old "business as usual" of the past. It is CRITICAL that you ACT TODAY! If we can FLOOD the offices of these Congressmen with HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of faxes, demanding that they POSTPONE the leadership elections, we CAN finally get the GOP back on track with true conservative values, instead of the compromised party we've seen for the last number of years. We need YOUR help. Send your Blast Faxes to EVERY SINGLE U.S. REPRESENTATIVE AT ONCE, NOW:

[and they provide a link to go do it]

NOTE: For ONLY $49.00 - about what it would cost you in time and telephone charges - you can send Blast Faxes to ALL 232 current GOP House members AT ONCE. The vote is scheduled quickly, so TIME IS SHORT! Don't let a bunch of defeated "RINOs" simply rubberstamp the leadership that contributed to the defeat of so many of their colleagues - Send YOUR Blast Faxes NOW!"

Now that's what I call message discipline! Somebody call Ron Popeil.

(And NOW!!! send your Blast Faxes NOW!!!)